doing much better since last post, although I'm impressed at how cool/calm I portrayed myself as. It was one big fat lie, as the first week here was total struggle town.

have established the basic framework of a life. I have a home, (still working on sitting on the couch as I fear everything associated with the communal areas), a job (where they won't allow me to do any work) and a smattering of friends. tick, tick, WIN! not sure how well I'm doing at the moment, just dividing things up into achievable goals. bite sized pieces of life to make it more manageable for the slightly less gifted.

work is good, my desk is the only one that doesn't look out on the park and is in the old nurses' quarters. I was initially snobby about this, but I like the idea that the room has so much (potentially saucy) history. I haven't been unleashed on the community yet, but I picked up a few cases this week. I haven't forgotten how to talk to people it seems...odd that one of the things I still felt so inexperienced at in Perth is something I now put in the 'not stuffing this up' category.

I am still in 'operation survival' mode - I still get a sense of achievement out of completing very basic tasks. Going to IGA and purchasing basic essentials? achievement. except the point where the check out chick had to walk me through the process of making up $30 in gold coins because I was so exhausted.

Have had some interesting tram experiences, they do appear to be a 'mental health express' of sorts. a lovely lad kindly waited until I was centimetres from flopping onto a tram seat covered in vomit RIGHT IN FRONT of him before telling me in disgruntled tones...before proceeding to ask me if I 'do magazines.'

even so, I can't judge too much. it took me a few minutes to realise that I was standing next to my roommate on the tram - bit tricky to avoid that one the whole tram/walk home. avoiding eye contact or conversation is fine but here you can decently smash into someone without a wiff of apology. might need to toughen up.

but generally feeling a lot better. I love that this is my space, I wish I had more friends here so I could joke about 'kicking them out of my pad.' (The two people that have been over already probably aren't going to take too much more of that.) part of being alone is really refreshing and not only am I processing things, I'm learning that I'm actually a tougher nut than I, or others, give me credit for. so there, RB.

until my next evening of sheer boredom when I've run out of food...

Kel.

"I must become a lion-hearted girl."

evening!

day 3 of the holiday/now beginning to merge with relocation. mood has improved significantly, but on the downside no more discounts on fantastic pasta because the waitstaff feel sorry for the girl crying into her meal alone.

I found a place to rent, whoop whoop! In West Brunswick, a unit with a new bathroom and kitchen. 5 minutes from tram 55 which will drop me straight to work. Heaven! My roomie to be seems fantastic, she is a publisher (as if that's a real job, that's just a cool made up role solely designed to make me feel inferior. it's working..) and works at readings bookshop.

Things I am digging:

• Feeling competent. Finding a place to live without Erica's help....boo ya, who is the organised/proactive one now?
• Navigating trams, including button pressing (a huge phobia) and jumping out into traffic. Also, my beautiful daily tram ride through Parkville. Based on weather I may even buy a bike...
• Having some form of friend-age every night thus far, and Nate getting here tomorrow!
• not packing a book. Man I just want to make a list of things to do....so simple but currently un-achievable.

Things I am digging less:

• The Freedom furniture salesman asking me if I needed someone else's approval for my bedroom furniture. Yeah...does that actually work on anyone? seriously?
• Walking past the construction site of the new Children's Hospital to get to the old Children's Hospital. Construction workers still wearing teeshirts that say 'Vote Howard Out'....awesome.
• Melbourne. Not completely sold...but imagining myself cold and lonely in this city probably dampens my excitement. What I've seen is beautiful and perfect for my plan of 'everything new' as it is as un-Perth as you can get. we'll see.

I've been very lucky in that I've had the most amazing friends become even possibly more awesome in the past few days. have had trouble responding to all the messages and phone calls picking me up off the floor and insisting that I feed and put myself to bed. (day one only!)

must go now and do ridiculously adult things, like give my landlord (ooh that was fun) all my beautiful money.

Kel.

I just want to make it really clear that I don't believe in blogs. I think giving a blank canvas to a person with a demonstrated tendency to whinge is, well not dangerous, but potentially annoying. I have only read two blogs I like, the others have involved fantastic entries listing the subjects' lists of admirers and crapping on about people like the internet is not an open medium. wangs.

I am basing this decision to make mini entires on the fact that until I get my feet, I feel like I am on a holiday of sorts. Holiday blogging is acceptable. Reasons this is a holiday,

• I am living out of a suitcase.
• I am sweating. A lot.
• I am completely lost and have no orientation.

I've spent the day napping and wandering. I independently worked out my travel route to get to the city, (tram 57 for those playing at home) but after getting so excited about finding it and texting Jill to get direct instructions on how to get into the MIDDLE OF THE ROAD to get on this moving death trap, I went in the wrong direction. No powers of deduction for me, I wondered why the city of Melbourne looked so derelict before reaching the final stop in some kind of ghetto hood. Missed the stop on the way back as well.

but other than that pretty uneventful day. weird to be so busy with people two days before and now I'm relishing conversation with people...definitely feeling lonely.

Going to try and convince a librarian to live with me. Fingers crossed!

Kel.